Rules For Parents – From A Middle School Teacher

“Ms. Evil” is a Middle School teacher in California. After being told several times by friends and family that she needs to compile all her hilarious and heart-warming stories, she finally created a blog, she calls: Middle School Shenanigans.

While we aren’t typically into people (non-parents especially) dishing-up parenting advice, we think she is one funny lady, who just might be entitled to tell it like she sees it…

Rules For Parents – From A Middle School Teacher

I am a teacher because I love children.

What I don’t love or even like is dealing with some parents. Did you read the “some” in that last line? Because the majority of parents are great. They support us, trust us and let us educate their most precious treasures (cheesy, yet true) their children. But, there are SOME parents that need to get a clue.

I have written the following list for those parents based on my experiences as a middle school teacher. Yes, these are all things that have really happened to me or a colleague. Enjoy.

1. If your child tells you that their teachers never assign homework, THEY ARE LYING TO YOU.
2. When your child’s teacher asks you to write a million words OR LESS about your child, don’t call and complain to the principal because you think a million is too many words.
3. When your child does something wrong and you get called, don’t tell the teacher “let me get their side of the story” because teachers don’t make stuff up about your kid just so they get into trouble, we have better things to do, like be on Facebook or blog.
4. DON’T CALL or TEXT your child during school. They’ll just end up getting in trouble and then you’ll have to come down to get their phone, and then you’ll bitch about it.
5. If your child gets hit by a car because they run out into the intersection without a crossing guard, don’t even think about suing the school or the crossing guard. Seriously?
6. Don’t let your child bring YOUR drugs to school.
7. Your child does not get a personal translator to go to every class with them. Sorry, but you’re lucky you get books in another language.
8. Don’t bring a huge bouquet of balloons to your child on their birthday. It doesn’t make them look cool, it makes them look SPOILED!
9. Also, don’t have a dozen red roses delivered to your child; it gets our hopes up as wives.
10. Do NOT cuss at the principal or other teachers when they’re directing traffic… they’re not there to piss you off, they’re there for SAFETY reasons.
11. If you come to back to school night, don’t ask your kid’s Language Arts teacher about the math curriculum. That’s the MATH teacher’s job.
12. Don’t buy your son pants that would fit Fat Bastard.
13. If your child’s teacher accidentally marks your child absent, don’t call and leave rude voice messages saying we shouldn’t make mistakes because we expect your child to never make mistakes: because that is UNTRUE! Teachers are NOT perfect, we are human.
14. Middle school students shouldn’t drink coffee or energy drinks. Don’t buy it for them and don’t let them buy it. Do you really think they need more energy at 13? Just so you know, a Monster and a bag of Doritos isn’t breakfast either.

About “Ms. Evil”

I’m a middle school teacher in California. To protect the rights of the people involved, all names will be changed. Including my own, I shall call myself “Ms. Evil.” I’ve been teaching middle school for more than five years but fewer than ten years. I’m 26-36 years old. I teach Language Arts (known simply as “English” when we were kids). I’m married and do not have children, but it’s something that we both want. I write my stories because my students are hilarious without meaning to be. I’m just lucky that I get to be their audience.

Tell us: Have you or your child broken any of the rules listed above?

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